Values

Sex talk on a Canoe Trip

In 1994 I was a tripper at an Ontario summer camp and led a canoe trip with six 14-year old girls and two of their 17-year old counsellors. I was 24 at the time. Since the mosquitos were on a feeding frenzy, one evening all nine of us squished into a 4-person tent to pass … Continue Reading »

Camp Gyno

I love it.  I love it because it depicts a young woman excited to have her ‘red badge of courage’.  I love it because menstruation is a word uttered rather than couched behind ‘that time of the month’.  I love it because she says ‘vag’ and because it might compel us as parents to explain … Continue Reading »

Teaching Daughters about Pleasure

[This post was recently featured in Melissa Carr’s blog, The Thirties Grind] Pleasure is good, yes?  We can, I think, admit that experiencing pleasure in life is one of it’s great, um, pleasures.   For some, pleasure a great meal with fine wine and friends.  For others, yoga, a hot bath or a polar bear dip … Continue Reading »

First dates aren’t about pleasing somebody

I remember the intense desire to get the attention of a boy that I liked when I was 12 or 13.  It wasn’t a comfortable feeling since I was chronically nervous that I would screw it up or that he would see something about me that was not pleasing to him. Impressing our peer group … Continue Reading »

Kissing without consent

Here’s something new. Someone sent me a note seeking advice.  I tried to provide a thoughtful perspective with really tangible ideas for how to move forward. I was told it was helpful so asked if I could post it so others could perhaps benefit.  I’m happy to receive other emails from parents wondering how to … Continue Reading »

Talking about birth over breakfast

Small conversations can make a big impressions and can happen anywhere. Talking to your child at an early age about sex is the first step toward raising them to be good sexual decision-makers.  As they enter junior high and high school, the pressure and messages related to sex and sexuality increases so it’s a good … Continue Reading »

Gender is messy, get used to it. (part 2)

In my last post I tried to break down sex and gender into simple and understandable parts.  I’m sure it could be clearer.  In this post I offer real life examples that I hope provide some of that clarity since stories can make things real and contexualize theory. Quick review: If gender refers to the … Continue Reading »

‘That’s so gay’

We hear it at the bar and the gym.  They hear it in the playground and at summer camp. People just fling it out there without consideration of its impact. For people who identify as gay or a person reconciling their sexual orientation, the connection between homo and stupid can feel mean- spirited. It can … Continue Reading »

Princess Power: The Brave and the Beautiful

The twittersphere is all a flutter over Merida-gate.  The star of Disney’s animated movie Brave had a facelift and tummy tuck to prep for her anointment. Forget ‘being brave, strong, passionate, determined and confident’, a new sexier look is what will win the royal day despite what Brenda Chapman, who wrote and co-directed the movie, … Continue Reading »