Sexually intelligent

Gender is messy, get used to it. (part 2)

In my last post I tried to break down sex and gender into simple and understandable parts.  I’m sure it could be clearer.  In this post I offer real life examples that I hope provide some of that clarity since stories can make things real and contexualize theory. Quick review: If gender refers to the … Continue Reading »

Gender is messy, get used to it. (part 1)

Have you heard that trans is the new gay?  Apparently gay is blasé. Everyone, from NBA stars to politicians are gay or outspoken LGB allies.  Country by country (France, Uruguay…), state by state (Minnesota, the 12th state, which one is next?), GSA (Gay-Straight Alliance) to Anti-homophobia Day, we are breaking down the walls of LGB … Continue Reading »

Confronting our own sexual shame

I think we can all agree that sex is intimate, personal and totally natural.  And it probably doesn’t come as a surprise to hear that as long as people have been having sex, they’ve been doing it in creative ways. Despite all this natural but varied activity, we all hold shame around ideas of sex … Continue Reading »

Your almost pregnant teen

Your daughter just had a pregnancy scare.  She was freaked out but maybe not as much as you. What are you going to do about it now that she is comfortably on the couch, a pad with wings between her legs and the hot water bottle resting on her belly? While archaic responses like the … Continue Reading »

Girls got schwing

Garth and Wayne (Dana Carvey and Mike Myers) brought the term ‘schwing’ to our urban lexicon.  The suburban, hockey playin’, Led Zeppelin lovin’ boys of Wayne’s World would ‘schwing’ when talking about or when seeing an attractive woman.  Schwing is a physical response that Wayne and Garth could not control.  Their bodies were sending them … Continue Reading »

Cheetos for Breakfast, Porn for Dinner.

Early on in the parenting journey, a lot of time is spent on feeding the kid.  First it might be focused on a mom’s milk supply, then introducing solids in the right order, then ensuring they eat a healthy variety of foods, then ensuring they don’t exclusively eat crap. Tremendous efforts are taken to understand … Continue Reading »

Vaginas don’t have tastebuds

I love hearing about kids that are making logical connections about sex.  ‘But vaginas don’t have tastebuds’ was an 11 year olds response when her older brother declared that he had been to a store that had grape flavored condoms. First I thought about how smart she is.  Then it reminded me of bubble gum … Continue Reading »

Ohhhh, Sexy Lady

Psy, Gangnam Style’s now iconic singing sensation brought the word sexy to our toddlers. My youngest, when singing and executing the Oppa Gangnam style dance moves, alternates between saying ‘sixy’ or ‘sucksy’ which I quite enjoy, but truth is ‘sexy’ is a word in the lexicon of my young children. Living in the hyper-sexualized culture … Continue Reading »