Did you get ‘the talk’? Was a book surreptitiously left on your bedside table? Were your parents dismissive or punitive or completely absent when it came to teaching you about sex? Did they utter a single word about pleasure? Maybe your parents were liberal, free-spirited people who modeled a certain sexual progressiveness but still didn’t ‘talk’ about it very much.
Like so many, you probably stumbled along with information from friends, media and a very occasional school nurse visit. And maybe you made some mistakes along the way.
Maybe you would have found your clit earlier. Or come out of the closet sooner. Or not had sex that time when you were a bit too drunk and seeking approval. Maybe you would like your body a wee bit more than you do, or perhaps you would have more practice by now sharing your wants with sexual partners — if only healthy and open conversations about sex and sexuality were the norm growing up.
So, where does that leave you now?
Truth is, if you are a parent to young people today (whether you’re in your 20s, 30s, 40s, or 50s), you are parents who likely became sexually active a good deal earlier than your own parents and have had more sexual partners than your parents.
And maybe, for the most part, you are ok with that. Just maybe you think that premarital sex (if you even opted for marriage) is a good thing, and that having multiple partners taught you a bunch about what you like and what you want. Maybe a healthy sex life is part of a life long journey for you- with ebbs and flows and ups and downs- with an intended lifetime goal of sexual wellbeing.
Do you want your kids to have a healthy dose of self-esteem?
Do you think your kids need to learn how to maintain physical and emotional health?
Do you want to help your kids navigate and interpret the complexities of sexual identity and expression?
Do you want to guide them as they wade through the sexual imagery that bombards us all in movies, magazines, music and advertisements?
Are you interested in your kids protecting themselves and their sexual partners?
For many of us, the answer is a resounding YES! And while hoping our kids have fulfilling sexual lives may not be on the top 5 things we hope for, why wouldn’t we want that for our kids too?